i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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