You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
