I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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