im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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