Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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