He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
