Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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