does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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