I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
