I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
