Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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