Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I intend to get homeless drunk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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