During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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