the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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