my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
