she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
