First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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