well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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