i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
