My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
