There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's never too late to be topless.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
