I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he fucked my hip out of place.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
