She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
