I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
