Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize