Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
