you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
