they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
