You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Life is so much better after having sex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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