you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
