maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
