there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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