he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
