the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
