i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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