Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
