grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this just has baby written all over it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
