seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
now i know why i became what i already was.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have aggressive nipples.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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