Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize