Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
