I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize