Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
