you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
