dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
