I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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