I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
