I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
