My nipple is on Facebook.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
