He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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