Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
