i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
