So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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