so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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