Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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