you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
