when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize