her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
