I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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