If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
