I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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