wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
