he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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