she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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