Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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