69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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