member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
