she smelled like a LAN party
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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