'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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