exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
