Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we're so committed to being not committed
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