The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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