thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As shirtless as possible
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
