matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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