I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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