he shaved USA in his pubs
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
