we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
