I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
