Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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