apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
