I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
