then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize