im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
